Stop Using Social Media as a Yardstick for Self-Worth

Day by day, social media is becoming more difficult to detach from our personal routines. Using it often can subconsciously make us view ourselves from the lens of other people, leading us to prioritize what they think over how we feel. Preview talked to four professionals to unpack this.

Even before today’s digital age, humans have already been wired to compare themselves to others. “We’re social beings,” shared psychometrician and educational content creator, Justine Danielle or Dani, “and one way we evaluate our quality of life is by looking at the lives of other people, and at how similar or different our own lives are from theirs. This type of assessment helps us make more well-informed decisions—or at least it’s supposed to.”

This has evolved into a problem with the unlimited access we now have.

"This shift has led to a greater, more unhealthy reliance [on] social media, because we’re always checking and monitoring how we stand in relation to other people.”

These sentiments were echoed by a fellow psychometrician, Mabby Meneses, who is also a Psychology teacher and examiner in the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme of an esteemed all-girls school. “An increase in globalization, even through media, can lead to a more competitive environment—specifically among women.”

She added that exposure to social pressures, especially in a time of consumer culture where unrealistic beauty standards prevail and prompts self-assessment. “In this process of self-evaluation, physical appearance becomes one of the aspects in which women ‘measure’ themselves, even their self-worth,” stating the fashion, beauty, and entertainment industries as prominent influencers of self-perception.

Dermatologist Francesca Sy-Alvarado, fondly referred to as Dr. Chesca, emphasized that the celebrities we follow regularly get treatments to maintain their appearances. With Psychology as her pre-med degree, Dr. Chesca values wellness from the inside-out, saying that the act of continuously comparing ourselves to the curated lives of public figures and our own peers “could lead to feelings of resentment, isolation, or inferiority.”

“Most of them feel like they’re falling behind and not good enough,” shared Riyan Portuguez, a psychologist and psychometrician, about the many people she encounters. The filtered images and seemingly perfect lifestyles can distort our self-perception, and “this is especially true for adolescents and young adults, whose sense of identity is still forming.”

If you’ve ever felt tired after passively scrolling, you’re not alone. Feeling down or drained after spending time online “could be a sign that we're feeling pressured by the photos or videos we’ve just seen,” said Riyan. “Over time, the pressure to look a certain way or to appear successful can take a serious toll on our mental health,” and that is where taking a break comes in.

Stepping away from social media can provide you with the necessary space needed to reconnect with reality, where self-esteem and body satisfaction isn’t shaped by people we don’t personally know. The cleanse can help with realigning focus and promoting overall wellbeing too, but it’s not a permanent solution.

“Taking a break from image-heavy platforms such as Instagram and TikTok can be a tool for self-regulation,” Mabby stated, “but it is important to combine it with working on resetting one’s beliefs, challenging faulty thinking patterns about weight and shape, and practicing self-compassion. Basically, improving one’s perception on body image should involve not just the behavioral aspect, but internal processes as well.”

Riyan agrees to taking mindful breaks. “While it may seem like avoidance, detoxing isn’t about running away from triggers. It’s about giving ourselves space for self-reflection and a psychological reset. It allows us to reconnect with who we are without the constant noise of social validation and appearance-based pressure.” Taking these little steps regularly can eventually help us “rebuild a healthier relationship with our body image and sense of self-worth.”

She also emphasized the importance of paying attention to your feelings. “If the thought of facing certain posts, images, or comments brings tension or discomfort, that could be your body signaling overload. When this happens, it helps to talk to a trusted friend or a psychologist,” serving as a reminder that clarity can be achieved through processing your reactions, and it’s not something you have to do alone.

As for Dani, the effectiveness of a social media detox isn’t black and white. “It really depends on how we use our free time. It helps when we are able to replace the bad habit with something more helpful or productive for our well-being.”

Lowering your screen time doesn’t happen overnight though, especially with how embedded the platforms have become into our lives. For that, Dani suggests taking it slow—work on lowering it from 10 hours to eight, for instance, then gradually decreasing from there. “It’s tough, but this reminds you of how much time you have, and how much time you can use to work on yourself instead of sitting idly while you doomscroll.”

Dr. Chesca offered a take that’s different, yet still aligned. “While I believe a social media detox has some benefits, I also believe that the content you follow matters more. Consuming meaningful content that makes you feel good or empowered could change the way you look at social media.”

She noted her experiences of meeting with patients who have expectations shaped by transformation and procedure videos seen online, which make them challenging to meet. “This is also why there is a need for professionals to be present on social media—to show the human side of Medicine, to combat misinformation, and to empower more people.”

So, we know for sure that social media affects how we see ourselves, and taking a detox is one way to solve it temporarily… What now?

Forming a healthy relationship with yourself instead of measuring your value based on other people’s standards is challenging, especially in a time where social media is almost inescapable, but it’s doable. We consolidated the pieces of advice from our selected professionals, so prepare your notebooks and write down these 10 reminders.

As Riyan said, “All of this reminds us that the internet and social media aren’t inherently harmful. It all comes down to how we use it. Let’s turn it into a space that inspires us to stay true to who we are, instead of chasing versions of ourselves that aren’t real. At the end of the day, authenticity will always matter more than pretense. Let’s give ourselves space to grow.” 

Eventually, your true self will shine so bright that it can't be ignored—not even by you, and most certainly, not by that voice in your head.