Maxene Magalona is a proud advocate of mental health awareness. She's never shied away from being transparent about her own diagnosis, and has always been generous with sharing her thoughts and feelings on social media.
Just today, Maxene took to Instagram once more to talk about her mental health struggles amid the lockdown. She posted a black and white photo of herself lying bed, with a weary look in her eyes.
"I took this photo to supposedly send to my sweet friend @_annafries who was asking me how I was doing as she knew that I was going through a lot during this time. I ended up not sending it to her because I thought it was inappropriate to send a sad photo," she wrote in the caption.
Maxene then talked about how she used to turn to alcohol and partying in her younger years to numb her anxiety and pain, but, now, with the mobility restrictions imposed by the MECQ, she's had no choice but to face these hard feelings.
"Although this can be quite terrifying and painful, I actually welcome it so that I can hold space for my emotions and allow them to flow through me. I’ve built a wall around my heart for so long, trying to be tough and protect myself from becoming vulnerable only to find out that it takes true strength and courage to feel all my feelings," she wrote.
Maxene and her husband Rob Mananquil spent the majority of the pandemic in Bali, Indonesia, where the situation is comparatively freer than the current quarantine status in Metro Manila. They only returned to the Philippines in early March this year.
According to Maxene, she took the black and white photo exactly a week after they arrived. She had been asserting a sense of normalcy in her life and determinedly sticking to a productive routine to feel like she had everything under control.
"On this day, however, I started getting a migraine and my body began to physically collapse. When this happens, I usually get frustrated because I don’t like the feeling of 'losing control'. I started getting emotional and instead of holding back my tears, I just allowed them to come. Gradually, the emotions that I had been keeping bottled up inside of me for God knows how long started to surface."
"Now, I realize that even though we don’t normally post these kinds of things online, I choose to be honest and honor my sadness and grief as I understand that in order to live in our truth, we must accept the entire spectrum of life. We must allow ourselves to feel all our emotions and not just the 'good' ones because we wouldn’t even know what “good” feels like if not for what makes us feel 'bad'," she shared.
Well said, Maxene!
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