Twilight? Again? That was definitely not on our bingo card. Originality might be dead in Hollywood, because a whole bunch of remakes we didn’t ask for are coming our way. We always thought a few decades was a respectable time frame before waiting to launch reboots and remakes, but in Hollywood, it seems that profits trump politeness. So it really should come as no surprise that multiple studios have announced that a number of reboots are on the way. Nevermind that no one was clamoring for them in the first place.
Here’s a list of all the unexpected reboots, ranked by order of least to most wanted.
5. Chronicles of Narnia
The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe was iconic. Nothing will ever beat a furry James McAvoy shivering in the snow, or Liam Neeson as the voice of metaphorical God. But everything after The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe was like Edmund Pevensie’s life decisions: dreary and disappointing. Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader never quite lived up to the expectations set by the first film, but it might have been because audiences (and the industry) weren’t ready for these stories on screen. We’re not saying we’d want a Narnia reboot, but we probably wouldn’t hate it the same way we would, say, True Blood.
4. Harry Potter
This is a hard one. The Harry Potter movies were perfect in every way. The casting, the chemistry, the world-building—nothing could possibly top the Harry Potter film franchise… right? We owe our childhoods to Dan, Emma, and Rupert, but Potterheads will be the first to admit that the films left a lot of material out. A series could let fans see every single moment come to life, but only if the show could meet or even outdo the standards set by the original films, which is a pretty tall order. And if it doesn’t live up to the film series, well then. Reducto.
3. Lord of the Rings
Is nothing sacred anymore? The original trilogy won Oscars. If the reboot doesn’t live up to those standards, then consider it a failure. We pity anyone bold or foolish enough to replace Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Grey. But as skeptical as we are about the reboot, we wouldn’t mind spending more time in Middle Earth just for the sake of nostalgia. So no, it’s still not the worst reboot news by far.
2. True Blood
Somewhere along the way, True Blood’s gothic themes were lost in transkalition. By the end of the True Blood’s seven-season run, we were just waiting for our suffering to end. This reboot has only one thing to offer: sexy vampires.
1. Twilight
The first one was painful enough. After the original Twilight series birthed fanfics-turned-franchises like Fifty Shades of Gray, how much more cringe do we have to endure with the second coming of Edward Cullen? We thought we were over this, guys.
* This story originally appeared on Esquiremag.ph. Minor edits have been made by the Preview.ph editors.
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