"Who wore it better?" This may seem like an innocent question but something this simple is an act of pitting women against each other. If you take a look at how society portrays women, you may find small ways in which we're constantly compared to one another, further deepening our insecurities and creating a divide. In an episode of Paano Ba 'To: The Podcast, Bianca Gonzalez asks Pia Wurtzbach gives advice on how to deal with feelings of insecurity and how to avoid comparing yourself to someone else.
First, Pia says that it's "completely normal" and it doesn't make you "a bad person if you start questioning and doubting yourself." She recalls her own journey, "Ang dami ko ring rejections nung nagco-commercial pa lang ako, nung naga-artista ako. Tapos natalo ako nang natalo sa [Binibining Pilipinas]. It's not so much, 'Why her?' it's more like, 'Why not me?'" When this comes up, it's possible that you're actually projecting your own insecurity on someone else.
She mentioned the time that she lost to MJ Lastimosa on Binibining Pilipinas. Because competition is part of pageantry, "people sort of expect that when somebody else wins or somebody else moves on ahead of you, parang, siguro galit ka no?" Pia shared, "There was a time when I couldn't watch TV because they kept replaying the crowning moment and I could see myself doon sa likod...It's not that I'm not happy for them. I [was] just sad that my hard work didn't pay off that year."
Sadly, it's still happening to this day—this time, with Catriona Gray, who also won Miss Universe: "We didn't compete in the same year...my experience was completely different from her year. Pinagsasabong kami ng mga tao. Personally, we're okay—wala talagang problema...I don't know who created this idea that we didn't like each other."
For Pia, it's all about self-awareness. When you're tempted to compare your journey to someone else's, ask yourself: What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? Why is this affecting me? What is really bothering me? "I don't like that feeling at all...and the way I deal with it is I always tell myself that hindi pa kasi para sa'kin or hindi kasi 'yan ang para sa akin."
She acknowledges that it's harder to do this because of social media: "You turn on your phone and everybody's busy. Everybody's productive. Everybody's doing something and everybody looks like they're having the best time of their life. Naka-plan na 'yan. Naka-filter na 'yan. Everybody puts their best face forward."
Her last piece of advice? "There's plenty of room for everyone. 2021 na, tigilan na natin yung pagco-compare sa mga babae sa isa't isa."
Watch Pia Wurtzbach's full interview for Paano Ba 'To below:
*This story originally appeared on Cosmo.ph. Minor edits have been made by the Preview.ph editors.