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Kylie Padilla Opens Up About Overcoming an Eating Disorder

"I had such low self-esteem when I was a little girl, I just felt like I can't be me. Being me is not beautiful," she says in a recent vlog.
Kylie Padilla Opens Up About Overcoming an Eating Disorder
IMAGE Instagram/kylienicolepadilla
"I had such low self-esteem when I was a little girl, I just felt like I can't be me. Being me is not beautiful," she says in a recent vlog.

For the longest time, the quest for beauty has been all about chasing unrealistic standards. For instance, moms have been subjected to an unspoken rule to bounce back and achieve their pre-pregnancy bodies after giving birth. But things are looking up now as more and more women, including celebrities, are speaking up against beauty ideals. 

Celebrity mom Kylie Padilla recently lent her YouTube platform to dismantle ideal beauty standards. The actress said it has been "a year of growth and healing" for her and she hopes to inspire other women to be kinder to themselves by sharing her journey towards self-love.

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PHOTO BY Instagram/kylienicolepadilla
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As a kid, Kylie said her idea of beauty was influenced by the beauty standards in Australia where she grew up. "When I was a little girl, my idea of beauty was blonde, blue eyes, tall and skinny, and that was not me... I really felt like nung andun ako sa Australia, I was not beautiful," Kylie shared.

This "idea" of what it means to be beautiful got stuck in Kylie's mind that she tried to conform to it to the point that it caused her to develop an eating disorder. "I had such low self-esteem when I was a little girl, I just felt like I can't be me. Being me is not beautiful," the 28-year-old mom expresses, "naging eating disorder siya for a long time. I am recovered now. For 10 years I was hungry."

Looking back, Kylie said she used to feel that her beauty relied on her body shape and size. At her worst, there were days when the actress would only eat bubble gum. "The thing is the smaller I got, I felt like the more beautiful I got. The less space that I took up as a human being, I felt like I was beautiful. That in itself is so wrong," she admits.

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PHOTO BY Instagram/kylienicolepadilla

Getting pregnant with Alas has been one of the things that helped Kylie overcome her eating disorder. "When I got pregnant, I had the reason to eat... During this time I grew so much respect for my body. I was happy that I had a support system at that time. Naniniwala na rin ako na my worth is more than what I look like and how thin I am."

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"I developed so much respect for what my body can do more than do I look sexy enough, which I'm very thankful for. I never thought I'd get to that place," the young mom shared. This, however, was just the beginning of her battle to regain her self-esteem.

Although Kylie is starting to accept her body, she still felt pressure as a celebrity. As a result, she still tried hard to shed the weight she gained due to pregnancy. The pattern to maintain a certain weight continued when she got pregnant with her youngest, Axl.

PHOTO BY Instagram/kylienicolepadilla
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The negative habits and the ideal beauty standards that Kylie developed as a young girl did not vanish overnight. She admits that those destructive thoughts have been "ingrained" in her that until now she is struggling with them. Only now she is aware of it and there is a conscious effort on her part to fight it.

"Kahit na ngayon nilalabanan ko, I am more educated and more aware now that these belief systems that I developed when I was younger are not right. They are abusive, they are not healthy, they cause anxiety," Kylie said.

In the end, the actress reminds every woman and mom to be kinder to themselves and remember that your worth is more than your physical appearance. She adds: "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful. It's just that sana you do it in a way that makes you healthier, makes you feel confident as a person, and make you happy to be who you are."

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*This story originally appeared on Smartparenting.com.phMinor edits have been made by the Preview.ph editors.

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